Love your body
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Loving your body in a society that constantly lets you know you are imperfect isn’t easy. Throughout our lives we learn that our worth depends upon our body image and if somehow, we figure out how to look like models and celebrities we will be loved, we will be happy. It’s far from the truth, especially when we are talking about sex. Funnily enough, several studies point out that older women are less affected by body dissatisfaction and that this is directly linked with having more sexual pleasure. So, interestingly, this means that when your body falls outside of the norm society wants you to fit in, you start enjoying sex more!
We need to change our relationships with our bodies for a long list of reasons, with only one of them being the fact that affects our enjoyment of sex. Being self-conscious during sex is a major factor affecting sexual satisfaction because it distracts us from our feelings and inhibits pleasure. Sex research has long established that having automatic thoughts about our appearance during sex impacts our ability to respond sexually to stimuli. In other words, might stop us from having orgasms or taking pleasure from sex. This is true for both partnered sex and masturbation, as body-esteem is also linked to higher frequency of masturbation.
Good news is that body satisfaction increases with age, independently of gender! Unfortunately, we can’t just expect to grow out from our insecurities, because worse body-image in adolescence predicts later sexual dissatisfaction. So, the more we make adolescents and young adults feel good about their bodies, the more we can expect them to enjoy their sex lives.
Taking pleasure from our bodies is truly a way of loving ourselves and our body. Every time we have pleasurable sex we release not only serotonin, but also oxytocin, the “love hormone”. We do not feel just closer to our partners, we feel closer to ourselves.
Self-pleasure is like a note to self that you are worthy of pleasure, and you are worthy of love. So, when you engage in good sex, whether you are alone or sharing it with someone else, remember that you are loved <3
