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So, you wonder what’s the fuss about BDSM? Well, fantasies of BDSM, which stands for bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism, are between the most reported sexual fantasies in the US. They come in second, right after multi-partner sex. BDSM is also commonly practiced, although there aren’t as many people stating they engage in BDSM as there are revealing their mere interest in it. While tying, whipping, and spanking (and the other way around) are disclosed by between 14% to 34% of American men and women, only 3-4% tell they’ve been into a BDSM party or dungeon before. 

People seem interested in BDSM across age groups, but young adults (those in their 20s) appear to be the ones with the highest interest among all people. Of course, we don’t know if this relates with age or simply with the fact that BDSM is growing popularity in mainstream media and often portrayed in books and movies - not that is always well represented. One careful look to “Fifty Shades of Grey” or “365” and we find consent was not part of the equation. Any BDSM practitioner would easily list several rules to a safe and enjoyable practice, but none as important as consent, the golden rule. The golden rule of all sexual activities, speaking the truth. 

One special feature of BDSM is that it isn’t only about sex. Surprising, right? For many it’s a non-sexual experience, to the point that even some asexual folks are drawn to BDSM. 

There are several reasons why people are captivated by BDSM. For some, is something they crossed paths while managing chronic pain, for others seems early entrenched in their lives, almost like a sexual orientation, and the list goes on. Research also suggests that BDSM practitioners are more extroverted than the general population and less neurotic, that is, they are more emotionally stable. Relationship wise people into BDSM also seem less insecurely attached – this is psychological lingo to say they tend to trust more their romantic partners and fear less being abandoned by them.

So, yes, not only people who practice BDSM as just as happy and healthy as your neighbour next door (who might well be into BDSM, anyway), they also live satisfying romantic relationships. As a matter of fact, in all probability they are more sexually satisfied than many couples.

Considering trying something new involving, let’s say, some leather? (or a vegan version of it, of course).